Be Stronger Than What Scares You

Sometimes this is very hard to do especially when you are faced with something that is new, important and something you dreamed off.  At times it feels like the fear is choking the desire to go forward.  

I have a new career opportunity and when I first learned about it late last year I was excited beyond belief.  It was something that I had always wanted to do: to be a teacher trainer.  The opportunity seemed so fabulous and I was willing to do anything to make it a reality.  Then as time went on the problems started arising and the little fear of failure in this exciting opportunity became bigger and bigger.  

Two days before my first presentation I found out that the presentation I had been working on for the last week needed a different focus, so I went back to the drawing board and literally spent the whole day and night reworking it and practicing.  I went to the presentation stressed and horrified, because I didn't feel ready with the new material.  I prayed my heart out, had my grandmother, who is a miracle worker, praying up to the last minute.  While I was at the presentation things continued to change, first it seemed like there would be five people, then maybe only two, at the end ten persons came.

Everything went relatively well except the music.  I had not embedded the music into the PowerPoint and so going out of the presentation to play the music became a problem. But I got through it.  I had wanted so much to call it off, to tell my boss I am not ready, you do it, but I kept on hoping and praying and pushing through.

This taught me that I needed to be STRONGER than my fear of failing.  Being strong paid off because I didn't let myself down and now that experience of pushing through helps me push through other times when I am afraid.

Has there been a time when you were afraid, but pushed through you fears? Please share, knowing that others are also afraid, but they chose to be STRONGER than what scared them helps us to know that we can do it too.

He is Not That Into You

Wise words, but do we really take them in.  They are so simple and yet it's difficult to grasp their meaning and much more difficult to accept.  When we like someone, we feel that the feeling is reciprocal and at times it is. Yet we find it difficult to accept that it might not be with the same intensity or for the same goal.

Many hearts would be spared if we could only keep those words in mind when we are trying to decipher if someone is responding to our feelings.  One friend told me a good way was to "Listen to their actions and not their words."  This advice resounded with me and helped me end a relationship where the person was not really that into me. At least not in the way that I wanted, not in the way that his lips where saying he was.

It's hard to accept that someone you are so into is not really that into you. However if you take a step back and look at his actions it becomes clear.  What are they saying? Are they playing the cat and mouse game or are their words consistent with their actions?  If their words do not match their actions you need to take a hard look at the relationship and make a choice: Is this all you want in your life? Would you rather be in a relationship where you don't have wonder if they are into you or not?

When a person is committed to the relationship you can feel it. It is a feeling of peace, calm. It is a feeling of strength and energy to pursue other interests. It is far from that feeling of angst you have when the person is not that committed. If you feel like the relationship is taking all your energy, you never know what to expect, you don't know where you stand and you have to keep feeding the meter in order to get a response then you don’t have commitment.

There is someone for you. Yet there is no room for the right person to come into your life if you are spending time and energy with someone, who is not committed to you.

You have the right to a healthy, committed relationship.  You have the right to feel loved and cared for.  Believe this in your heart and don't settle for less.

Support gender action in HORIZON 2020

Throughout the 2012 policy makers will negotiate the EC proposed framework for HORIZON 2020, leading to its approval by the EU Council and Parliament. The proposed framework makes explicit reference to the importance of the gender dimension.  It states that Horizon 2020 "....should aim at promoting equality between men and women in research and innovation, by addressing in particular the underlying causes of gender imbalance, by exploiting the full potential of both female and male researchers, and by integrating the gender dimension into the content of projects in order to improve the quality of research and stimulate innovation”. A specific gender equality article has been included as part of the proposed structure, Article 15, which states that:  “Horizon 2020 shall ensure the effective promotion of gender equality and the gender dimension in research and innovation content”.  
At the end of last year, genSET presented the Manifesto for Integrated Action on the Gender Dimension in Science and Innovation to the Commissioner for Research, Innovation and Science, Maire Geoghegan-Quinn. This Manifesto is the result of the public consultation run in conjunction with the Gender Summit.  We invite you to sign it by going to http://bit.ly/rLS7cn as an expression of your support and to ensure that the gender dimension remains firmly integrated within HORIZON 2020 framework and programme.

Letting Go

When you care about something or someone letting go is a difficult thing to do.  Stepping back and letting a loved one make their own mistakes is never easy.  At times we feel frustrated because no matter how much we talk to them and provide our wisdom, they continue down the same path that we might feel is the wrong one.  This creates tension in the relationship and sometimes a breakdown in communication.

At times you might even feel angry and as women we might feel the urge to protect and guide, but will find that the object of our concern is not willing to be guided.  This reminds me of that song ¨Wide Open Spaces¨ which talks about having wide open spaces where she can make big mistakes and just like her mother once left her parents to make her own life, she is now leaving.  Human beings have free will not given by men, but a higher power and no man or woman has the right to take that away.  It´s difficult at times to sit on the sidelines and see our young loved ones make choices that we in our wisdom would not make, but they can´t learn from our mistakes, they can´t, just like we couldn´t learn from other people´s lives. If we don´t sit on the sidelines and let them excercise their free will, we run the risk of stifling them or breaking down the connection to them.

I think a lot, I examine my life and others, my mistakes and others and I come up with conclusions, with my own wisdom and this makes it even harder to accept that I don´t have all the answers that I need to just listen and back away.

Positive Thinking

"Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve." ~Napoleon Hill

Of all the authors about positive thinking one of the first ones I read and I still love his wisdom is Napoleon Hill the author of "Think and Grow Rich."  He is widely recognized as the founder of modern personal success literature. His book to me is not only about acquiring financial success, but living a wealthy life.  A life full of hope and getting you want.  I read Napoleon Hill when I was living in Miami at a time when I need it direction.  I have read it many times over my life.  I just can't get over all the wisdom in the book and when ever I feel I need a pick me up I read it and it does just that lift my spirits.

In his book "Keys to Success" he outlines the 17 principles of success.  Here is the first one Definiteness of Purpose: "Don't be like a ship at sea without a rudder, powerless and directionless.  Decide what you want, find out how to get it, and then take daily action toward achieving your goal.  You will get exactly and only what you ask and work for."  You can find the 17 principles in beautiful scrolls at the Napoleon Hill Foundation website.  I downloaded them to my screen saver that way I can have daily reminders.

I also signed up for his Daily Inspiration, so that I can receive his quotes in my email.  One of my favorite quotes of his is: "

Hold On to Hope

Today I had lunch with a friend who is having way too many problems, financial, marriage, children, but they are not from today, they are continuous.  The more I would try to guide her toward a solution the more she assured me there was none.  After I was with my friend I felt depleted of energy and a little more negative than I had started the day. At times I wondered am I like that with my own life. You know what helps me, reading positive quotes, books, affirmations, listening to positive speeches.  I can literally get myself out of a slump by filling myself with positive feedback.

There is a crisis, it's hard to ignore that there is, but do we need to hear how much the unemployment is rising, how much big corporations are not paying their share of taxes, how much unrest there is in the world day in and  day out.  I am not proposing that we ignore what is going on around us, I am just saying what if we all began to see the glass half full and continued trying to improve our lives.  Wouldn't that help make things better.  How does it help that we listen to the media with their dooms day story until we can't see straight and we get depressed.

It sure doesn't help me.  So lately I have surrounded myself with positive quotes all over my house, in my purse in my nightstand.  I listen to Suze Orman on my ride on the Metro.  I listen to Stephen Covey when I get insomnia and I can't sleep.  Hold on to hope, it will help Weaweather the storm.

International Women's Day 2012

This March 8th is International Women's Day 2012.  There are various events taking place all over the world.  At their website International Women's Day you can search for events that are being held in your area.

I liked this event in particular.  Join me on the Bridge - This is the third year that women from congo and Rwanda joined together on the bridge connecting their two countries, showing that they could build bridges of peace and hope for their countries.  This action became a worldwide movement and this International Women's Day thousands of people will show that they are with the women of Afghanistan, Iraq, Congo, Rwanda, South Sudan and other war-torn countries.

Go to their website and look for an event in your area and stand with these women to give them strength and to show we support their demands for peace and equality. Women are peace builders and with equality at the peace negotiation tables and governing bodies of their countries they will build a more peaceful world.  Stronger women are building the bridges of peace for our future. With your support we will be even stronger.

If you are interested in watching some videos about the International Women's Day celebrations you can find them on Youtube Intenational Women's Day

Catalina de Erauso

I am Reading the book “Mujeres Olvidadas” (Forgotten Women)there I found the name of Catalina de Erauso known as the Lieutenant Nunalthough Catalina never formally became a nun. Her story is one of the most controversial that happened in the NewWorld.  Catalina lived in the 16^thcentury, a time of conquistadors and in spite of the restrictions imposed onwomen during that time by the church and monarchy she decided to leave theconvent, change her identity and travel to America disguised as a man.  She broke with all the repressive norms againstwomen of her era and she was able to join the military and she was one of thefirst female adventurers in the New World.

She was sent as an intern in a convent of San Sebastian elAntiguo since she was 4 years old.  At 15after a beating by another nun, she escaped the convent, she cut her hair andshe disguised herself as a man.  In battlesshe was a great warrior.  She lovedgambling, horses, flirting with women and quarreling.  She was arrested because of a quarrel.  In jail, to avoid being sentenced, she askedfor clemency from the bishop, to whom she related her story.  She also assured him she was a virgin.  After some midwives proved that she was avirgin, the bishop sent her to Spain. There she was seen by king Felipe IV and she appealed that she came froma noble family and that she had fought for the crown.  The king allowed her to keep her militarystatus of Lieutenant and she received a significant reward for servicesrendered to the crown in the Americas and she was also able to keep her malename.  Her fame was such that when shevisited Rome Pope Urbano VIII authorized her to continue dressing as aman.  Since she didn’t like fame she decidedto go to Mexico where she started a transport business and she lived thereuntil her last days.

Catalina wrote an autobiography that was published in Francein 1829.  Her life was translated intovarious languages and has been an inspiration of other books, plays, zarzuelasand movies.

This story leaves me confused and I still can’t pinpointwhy.  On the one hand it proves that theroles assigned to women are just that, roles, they are not real, but imposed bysociety.  But on the other hand the partof virginity leaves me stunned, it is one more proof of men’s obsession withcontrolling female sexuality and as long as we respect the role of allowingthem sexual liberty while as women we abstain, even disguised as men, there isno problem.

Erauso Autobiography

7-Habits - Progress with Habit #1

I have been working on Habit #1: Be Proactive for the last month, but I must continue working on it, because although I made some strides I still need to work on it some more.  The progress I have made is to keep on doing the things I need to do and not allowing external influences dictate what I do or how I feel.  So although for the last 2 weeks I have been sick first with a stomach flu and then with a cold and ear infection.  I've continued, as much as I could, with my activities, taking rests only when I couldn't handle it anymore.  And as soon as I felt better I began to work on all the work that had backed up.

The part I still need to work on is being responsible for my decisions and not letting procrastination make them for me.  For example I decided I wanted to cut down on some of my private clients because I picked up more classes at the Institute where I work and I was getting overwhelmed.  I also decided that I wanted to focus on adults and keep the clients that I had been working with since the beginning, but I was not proactive in resolving some issues I had with these clients and they dropped me.  I was upset about the way they handled things, but taking responsibility for my actions is part of Habit #1 and I understand that next time I have to deal with my problems head on instead of letting inaction make things explode in my face.

The other thing of Habit #1 that I still need to work on is on focusing on my Circle of Influence (those things I have control over) and not so  much energy on worrying about conditions over which I have no control.  This is the one I am having the hardest time with.

So, I will remain working with Habit #1 for the rest of this month. The thing I will do different is that I will keep this Habit top of mind.  For example I am going to create myself a note about this Habit and place it every where I can see it. This will keep being Proactive top of mind.